Success and Miracles: Ask Nick Arandes

Hi Friend,

I am simply going to share with you my thoughts on this situation not as if I know the answers but as someone who is an outside observer and may see something you are not seeing since I do understand you are the one dealing with the situation.

Many times when challenges present themselves, it is not easy for me to see the obvious answer that lies right in front of my eyes that others can actually see.

Also, since your family are so close to you emotionally, I do honor your situation and hope you hear me with an open mind.

>Like I was saying to you that I
>don't have a goal to do something my
>family is what matters and they are
>the ones who seem to be hurting me.

First things first. If I were in your situation I definitely understand that it is not necessarily easy to not feel hurt under certain circumstances. The key however, and remember, this is what our personal growth journey is all about, is to be aware of where do we give our power away. By your choice of words, "they are the ones who seem to be hurting me" it implies that they have the power to hurt you when in truth, you are feeling hurt by the way you chose to interpret your situation, or their behavior.

See, in the personal growth world, the first thing we need to do in order to change our reality, whatever that is, is to take full responsibility for everything that is happening to us. The pretty and the not so pretty. Because if we think that things happen to us, we can no longer change them. Now, keep in mind that I am not talking about changing your family, but about you changing the way you see things. Like Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

Again, I am not saying to pretend not to feel what you are feeling because that is a form of denial. However, be aware of how you are feeling and begin by saying something like, "I know I don't like the way my family behave, however I do understand and honor that it is their journey and not mine. If there is something about it that bothers me, I am willing to look within myself and find a place where I can love them just the way they are as I continue on my own journey for growth." In other words, start placing your attention in the gift inside every seeming obstacle or challenge.

Because whether you believe this or not, and again, this is my believe, every circumstance we encounter, we attracted it either consciously or unconsciously, and although me may or may not know why it is happening, in the larger scheme of things, it is part of a Divine perfection that is leading us to a greater understanding of who we are.

Here is a scenario. The nodule I had on my thyroid, was one of the greatest gift on earth because although as uncomfortable as it was at the time, it led me to move out of a career that was not longer fulfilling and led to the writing and creation of an audio tape and a book, which I can use as a way to help others.

Notice that the people who have accomplished some of the greatest deeds, have faced major challenges and all they did is turned it around. Later on if you ask if they had a choice to not to go through the experience again, they will say, "I would not want to go through it again, but I am glad I did go through it for it led me to my success!"

I know I am trying to simplify this answer in which I could go on forever and instead of writing an email I would be writing a book! So to summarize this first observation, open yourself to the possibility that there is a hidden treasure within your circumstance and all you need to do is change your focus and start looking for it.