That's
why I keep asking myself, why is
it that I find myself writing
books, and speaking, even when I
am still facing my own darkness?
Shouldn't I have it altogether
before I can teach? And the
answer I keep getting is that I
am doing it to remind myself of
what "I" need to learn.
It is like someone who was
born with the innate desire to
surf, and is destined to be a
great surfer, but in his mind he
does not want to get on the
surfboard until he think he can
master it first. Well, that will
never happen. He has to get on
that surfboard, fall out of it
many times, before he can master
it. And yes, at the beginning, he
may hit people with the surfboard
for not having mastered the right
balance and control. He also have
to ride all kinds of waves until
he gets a better feel for them,
and eventually, he will reach his
destination, which is to become
the great surfer he is meant to
be.
This came to mind because
since I have written books, and
for some reason speaking is
something I enjoy doing, and
based on the feedback I have
received, I guess I am on the
right path, what I often remind
people of, is that I experience
the same challenges everybody
else does. I do not claim that I
talk to Jesus, or that I have
achieved some kind of
enlightenment, or that I am a
guru, or pride myself on having
reached some kind of spiritual
level of consciousness, or that I
know something, because in
reality I don't. I am moving
towards achieving a state of
unconditional love, and as that
happens, my writings and speaking
are just stuff that I do.
I don't know if tomorrow I may
feel guided to take my facebook
profile down, get rid of my
websites, move to a little town,
get a job and live a happy life
there. I don't know what the
future holds for me. I just keep
writing, and sharing, and
trusting that hopefully, what I
am doing is what I am supposed to
be doing. And like the surfer,
before I get to that place of
complete unconditional love, for
me, writing about it, and talking
about it is one way of getting on
that surfboard for the first few
thousand times. And along the
way, some people may experience
my ego and may think, "who the
hell is this guy teaching A
Course in Miracles?"
But as I keep practicing, and
my love keeps flourishing, some
people may say, "this guy really
walk his talk." But to get to
that place, it requires, first
and foremost, willingness to
choose again; to choose love over
and over and over and over again
and again and again, until I have
experienced all sorts of waves,
just like the surfer. Because
even if he can master a
particular kind of wave, it does
not mean he is able to ride every
single wave. But the more he is
exposed to different kinds of
waves, the better he is equipped
to maintain a good sense of
balance in all circumstances.
I am very grateful for the
journey I am on. But I do have to
say, I have had to face a lot of
darkness, and still do in many
different areas. I am becoming
better equipped to handle what
comes my way, but I am still
practicing, and as long as I am
in what appears to be a body, the
practice will never stop. My
sense of balance may be more
steady, but that does not mean I
will not be faced with
experiences that may rock my
boat.
So if you like my writings and
my speaking, I thank you, and I
hope that in some way I am able
to serve you through the use of
these particular talents and
gifts I seem to have. But do not
make the mistake of putting me on
a pedestal, because if you do,
you are now turning me into what
A Course in Miracles refers to as
a "false idol."
Trust me when is say that
YOU are the guru
you have been searching for. And
my writings are simply pointing
you in the direction to where you
must always look; within
your Self!
I
love you!
"i want to thank you for
letting me be myself again"
-Sly and the Family Stone